My First
By Bernadette Perez
My first everything
I recall the moment
Where we were and what we did
How you made me feel
Young and carefree
It was You
It was Me
I came with friends
I left with you
All day
Everyday
Days went by
We were by each other’s side
Then slowly
We separated
I still longed for you
Phone calls at all hours of the night
Love on the wire
Until we could reunite
Than one day our thoughts did not touch
We seemed so far away
I held on as long as I could
The fall was much harder than expected
I hated Men
All of them
I accepted man with a passion
If this is how they be
I too can make a man’s heart bleed
I loved than left
No looking back
Like rock
Solid
Soon to crumble
Thy heart
Was in shock
Standing in the first of light
My shadow darken gray
This was not I
Where did love go
The young sweet girl
Innocence cried
Did I do something wrong
Kneeling just below
Ashamed of the woman I became
Simply because she could not let go
Why
Slightly different she is not so
Reaching deep into her internal self
She knows that she lost control
Buried inside
Deep within
Ready to surface
Wanting to live
With self respect she lets him go
For if you love you do so
Perhaps someday
True love will come her way
Now my life is complete
True love has found me
I love a man who loves me
Loves me more than one can fathom
Loves me for me
For many years we have grown
Love no longer scorned
Thank the Lord for prayers unanswered
Oh but they were so, answered yes they were
He had a plan that was far more grand
Now a wife, mother and so much more.
I would see my first from time to time
I wondered how he was
Wondering what if I
One day I stopped questioning
In the local paper I read
He left this earth
For a mere moment I lost my breath
I told my husband
I wanted to attend services to say farewell
My husband, my friend
Father to my children in a tender voice replied
” Would you like me to go with you ?”
Be by your side
I wanted to cry
With my mouth open wide
No words
I wanted to cry
He placed my tiny palm in his calloused hand
Pulled me close
Whispered ” I understand”
I knew he would
Thoughts in my head came to an end
No
I will send flowers
Say goodbye to a friend
I never went to the service
I knew exactly why
I let him go along time ago.
It was his turn to fly
I will always remember my first kiss, my first date, my first night , my first reason why.
I say ado to my first
See I have the Love of my Life
He is my husband
He is my everything
I am his wife
*Dedicated to my husband who has always been there and always will be .
Through many of years, in good and bad sickness and health.
“I Love You”
Eugene
With all my heart
