My First 

By  Bernadette Perez

 

My first everything

I recall the moment

Where we were and what we did

How you made me feel

Young and carefree

It was You

It was Me

 

I came with friends

I left with you

All day

Everyday

 

Days went by

We were by each other’s side

Then slowly

We separated

 

I still longed for you

Phone calls at all hours of the night

Love on the wire

Until we could reunite

 

Than one day our thoughts did not touch

We seemed so far away

 

I held on as long as I could

The fall was much harder than expected

I hated Men

All of them

 

I accepted man with a passion

If this is how they be

I too can make a man’s heart bleed

 

I loved than left

No looking back

 

Like rock

Solid

Soon to crumble

Thy heart

Was in shock

 

Standing in the first of light

My shadow darken gray

This was not I

 

Where did love go

The young sweet girl

Innocence cried

Did I do something wrong

 

Kneeling just below

Ashamed of the woman I became

Simply because she could not let go

Why

 

Slightly different she is not so

Reaching deep into her internal self

She knows that she lost control

 

Buried inside

Deep within

Ready to surface

Wanting to live

 

With self respect she lets him go

For if you love you do so

Perhaps someday

True love will come her way

 

Now my life is complete

True love has found me

 

I love a man who loves me

Loves me more than one can fathom

Loves me for me

 

For many years we have grown

Love no longer scorned

 

Thank the Lord for prayers unanswered

Oh but they were so, answered yes they were

He had a plan that was far more grand

Now a wife, mother and so much more.

 

I would see my first from time to time

I wondered how he was

Wondering what if I

 

One day I stopped questioning

In the local paper I read

He left this earth

For a mere moment I lost my breath

 

I told my husband

I wanted to attend services to say farewell

My husband, my friend

Father to my children in a tender voice replied

” Would you like me to go with you ?”

Be by your side

 

I wanted to cry

With my mouth open wide

No words

I wanted to cry

 

He placed my tiny palm in his calloused hand

Pulled me close

Whispered ” I understand”

I knew he would

 

Thoughts in my head came to an end

No

I will send flowers

Say goodbye to a friend

 

I never went to the service

I knew exactly why

I let him go along time ago.

It was his turn to fly

 

I will always remember my first kiss, my first date, my first night , my first reason why.

 

I say ado to my first

 

See I have the Love of my Life

He is my husband

He is my everything

I am his wife

 

 

*Dedicated to my husband who has always been there and always will be .

Through many of years, in good and bad sickness and health.

“I Love You”

Eugene

With all my heart

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