Both Marc Carver
A DAY OUT
I have to be free to be my own slave,
chains I can never break
places I can never see
people I can never know
strangers on a shore looking out to sea.
Don’t give me free will
I will only fuck it up.
The woman on the other platform files her nails with vigour
could be beating an egg to death.
The young man opposite me glues his watch back together
his shirt is open
showing his waxed chest
mine is like a doormat or coconut hair
but nobody wants to see that.
I want an emogi to describe the way I feel
they could have a picture of me looking confused and or possibly drunk.
I couldn’t see if it was her
even though I looked and looked
the jazz music played and still I looked but I could not know
I thought about telling her I was sorry about her son
but could not be sure.
The sadness in a bar late at night
compares to nothing.
I started to tot up the beers and the places in my mind.
The trouble was it kept going up.
I got to about 9 or 10 places and about 13 beers and decided to call it a day
We went to the fish and chip shop
I ordered two fish and chips
asked if we wanted salt and vinegar
I said vinegar for me
and she said
only salt for her
I told Mrs Woo
we could not be more different
She just looked at me
the way a lot of people do