By John Dorroh


The Kansas City, Kansas, Health System is making plans to celebrate the long-lost inflatable
colon, which has now been found inside a house on Virginia Street. October 23, 2018

The giant inflatable colon has been found
right down the street as I drink coffee
and pour myself a bowl of mini-shredded
wheat. Sweet to know that whoever stole
it had to roll it and pack it into the back
of a pick-up truck.

The children from Miss Reardon’s 3 rd grade
science class walk inside the big pink colon,
feeling the walls, tracing veins with their
fingers, asking what those bumps are
and why they look as if they might pop
at any second. “Those are polyps,
boys and girls.” Jimmy volunteers information
that his grandfather had those things burned
out of his butt with a big green laser.

What went through the mind of the bandit,
like who does that? Is there black market value
for inflatable colons? Why not a heart, a liver,
which can quiver and deliver quite a punch
on pesky toxins? Why not walk into a big
ole brain and find out what makes us tick,
or sick and tired of political ads and why
we choose to lose our dignity when we drink
too much rum?

We’ve all had fun talking about the missing
inflatable colon, but all fun things eventually
lead us to a serious side. I am grateful for my colon
and how it works with great regularity most of the time.
So when it’s having a bad day, I should remember
the good, extinguish the bad, and celebrate
my colon all colons everywhere.

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