By Megan Johnstone
through the confusion flashing in the embers of his eyes one could see the madness of thrill rising like a slow burning flame starting at his iced toes that once was dipped in the sea of your existence rising up through every corner that is him and every turn taken to run from what is him it rises until it has no other choice than explosion killing all that is near all that dared to wander so close to the forbidden creature but the embers in his eyes... it drags all into his insanity until you are the one on fire with those glowing embers dipping in and out of the reality of his eyes
In that moment where our paths crossed and in that moment where we collided head-on Sparks flew of a million colours but sparks burn fast and strong Each fight took a part of me and each time it hurt that much more Like a hand wrapped around my fragile heart, threatening to break it with each tightening grip So I ask you if I stay and fix this broken flame Or do I flee before all that is left is the ghost of the girl I used to be Because I'm stuck in that space-time where nothing isn't anything and anything isn't nothing Just floating in-between moments being neither here nor there The soul of the irrefutably senseless traveller that lost his map before he could lose his soul in the beauty of it all In that moment where our paths crossed and in that moment when we floated past each other like two strangers that used to be in love.
To live and die is all the same
To write the story of my life is like trying to say 3000 words all at once. Not knowing where to start and not knowing where and when it will all end. I'm 19 years old but I feel like I've already lived the entirety of my life. I had a boyfriend that I didn't love and he had a girl to keep him busy when he grew tired of tormenting the unfortunates; had my heart broken and felt the pain of losing a childhood pet and a neighbour I loved with all my heart. I travelled through Europe, kissed a stranger, danced in a deserted street at 3 am, and been fondled by what I thought was a harmless fling. Appreciated the beauty of sunset and sunrise and how they somehow equally represent new beginnings. Struggled to love the ones closest to us, the father that shaped my being but sometimes wishing someone else held the clay in their fragile hands. Touched the clouds in the high mountains above. Found love in friends and family and discovered a passion for the course I'm studying because one day I know I'll change the world, maybe I already have. I loved so deeply for the first time and felt the pain of my soul being ripped from my raw flesh as it blends with hers, forever trapped in the beauty of her elegance. I've gone through all the tragedies and joys in life and now I have to live the rest of it. I have to live the rest of this life that I'm not even sure I want. So I stand here with my destiny in my shaking hands, wishing someone else would take the wheel because I have flown off the cliff centuries ago.
it all slowly deteriorated until I couldn't even recognise myself anymore sitting around for hours not able to escape the whispers roaring through my mind sitting around and running round round we go until we are thrown down at a place where tears and laughter become one confusing mess we twirl around in the whole night under the moonlight we twirl and twirl as we run and fall and stumble and drown until the confusing mess fades into the twilight and all we're left with is that unknown aching in our hearts that appeared in our dreams but refuses to leave so we sit around and run round round we go until we're all ghosts of this glassed fairy-tale world we created but it wasn't ours to destroy and we decided it's not ours to fix because we'll ride away in our spaceships leaving this place to slowly fade until it explodes and kills us all in our cubicles far, far away and who will we blame then when our blown-up pieces are all that's left to whisper about the tragedies it has seen and the tragedies it knows to come
Seeing her smile kills all the doubts in my mind as that voice inside saying I am not enough is silenced by her glowing warmth But for her that voice is on loudspeaker and I don't know how to turn it off when all I need is her smile because with that light auburn hair and hazel eyes you can't help but feel safe and if a shadow of a doubt should ever come she will be there to shine a light on all the glorious parts that is you But she doesn't see her glorious self no matter how bright that light is or how faint the shadow is because a light cannot shine on itself The beauty standards stair at her from every angle so that she avoids being seen in any angle and my heart breaks that she doesn't see her beauty Because she only sees herself through pictures and mirrors and not through other’s eyes where all that can be seen is an extraordinary girl that's on the verge of being wasted potential because self-deprecation will kill us all in the end So I beg you please to shine a light on this girl the one in the shadows of the room that fades into the background noise Tell her she's beautiful even if you think she already knows it so that we can try and save these spotlight girls
I need someone to save me because I can't stand on my own two legs anymore as they crumpled below me on that forsaken night where darkness and light got intertwined into this spectacular mess and all I could see was your blurry face trying to reach through the mist and the fog of my messed-up mind but my screams silenced your pleads for me to stay as I floated further into the horrifying maze with blurred-out edges daring you to come closer and fall into the void that they created so perfectly for you
Megan Johnstone is a 19-year-old University of Bath Engineering student and is new to the world of publishing. She has one published poem, Who am I, that she entered into a competition with Young Writers. This poem was then published in their 2021 feature book called Big Poetry Party which showcased various poems from young writers who entered the competition. Megan loves to read fantasy and fiction books, jogging and debating with others on subjects that make no sense.